


The Beginning of After

by UpperMoonTwo (orphan_account)



Category: Transformers: Prime, Transformers: Shattered Glass
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, based on the botcon comic but set in prime universe, because this is very self indulgent, no beta readers we post our 2am garbage like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:15:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24601453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/UpperMoonTwo
Summary: A life split into before and afterorWhen the Great War between the Autobots and Decepticons began Optimus Prime tried to recruit Starscream, but the young scientist refused. As a consequence, Optimus ordered Vos to be destroyed as Starscream watched in horror.
Relationships: Megatron/Starscream (Transformers)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 27





	The Beginning of After

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even like megastar normally but I think shatteredverse megastar is really cute. Also I would actually KILL for an official shattered glass cartoon hasbro pls

“This is all your fault you know?” 

Starscream curled up further on himself. He knew what he was doing right now was pathetic and a waste of time but he couldn’t help himself. He fought to keep the painful and raw memories from taking over and consuming him completely but it was a losing battle. His hands clasped over his audials, trying to drown out the noise of his thoughts. They were suffocating and deafening.

“Look at your fragile, little city. Totally demolished because of your stupidity and stubbornness.”

“No,” he muttered weakly. He didn’t want to look! He couldn’t! The sound of fires burning all throughout Vos and buildings crumbling was already too much. “Please. I don’t want to.”

A hand had harshly grabbed his helm and forced his eyes to meet the burning wreckage. There were many bots fleeing the quickly crumbling city only to end up getting trapped under falling debris or getting caught in the mist of flames and smoke. Distant screams could be heard, echoing gruesomely down the streets. Vos would never recover from this. Everything was in ruins.

Tears streamed down his face as he forced his optics shut. This couldn’t be happening. If he had known- there was no way he could have known refusing would lead to this! It wasn’t fair! Why should so many have to die or lose their homes because of his decision?

He was shoved to the ground. With his hands in stasis cuffs behind him, he had nothing to cushion the fall. 

“Take him away,” a strong voice that sent shivers down his spinal strut commanded, “He’ll learn his lesson eventually and join our cause.”

More hands. They grabbed him by the wings, yanking him back and dragging him away. It hurt like hell. Wings were one of the most sensitive parts of a seeker’s body and having it pulled at like that sent waves of pain radiating through him. That was nothing, though, compared to the mental haze he was currently in. Nothing mattered. Not where they were taking him. Not what would happen to him. 

Nothing.

No! This wasn’t real, he tried to tell himself that this wasn’t real over and over. Vos had been destroyed years ago and he wasn’t there anymore. He had been on the Decepticon warship ever since being freed from the Autobots’ prison. So then why were these memories haunting him? And why did it have to feel like he was there again?

Starscream tried to gather himself again, peeking up slightly from the tangle of limbs he had become on the floor of his habsuite. Someone stood above him, smirking at him with malice in his eyes. Optimus Prime. How was that possible? It couldn’t be! Realistically it had to be some malfunction in his CPU but in that moment, it felt real.

He screamed as loud as he could, backing away from the intruder. Prime walked towards him slowly. Each pounding step felt like it took an eternity to meet the ground. Starscream held his arms out in front of him protectively, waiting for a kick, a punch, a stab, anything to hurt him.

“I’m sorry!” he yelled, crying once again, “I’m sorry I refused! I didn’t know! It’s all my fault, all my fault, all my fault, all my-”

“Starscream!”

“Please don’t hurt me! Please! I’ll do anything! I’ll do what you want! I’ll do-”

“Starscream, it’s me.”

Starscream reset his optics. The figure standing in front of him wasn’t Optimus. It was Megatron and he wasn’t angry and ready to hurt him either. He was… concerned?

“Megatron?” he asked. Seriously, what the hell? How did he just imagine the Autobot leader standing before him? His panic halted for a quick moment, replaced by confusion and a bit of relief.

“I’m sorry if I scared you,” Megatron said softly, keeping a safe distance away from the other mech, “I thought I heard something coming from your room so I went to go check on you only to find you in a ball on the floor. I didn’t know if you were injured or-”

“Oh,” Starscream said dumbly, “I see.” He probably should be embarrassed but he was far too relieved to properly register how stupid he probably looked. That’s right, Vos burned a long time ago. They weren’t even on Cybertron anymore!

“Are you… okay?” Megatron asked as he looked the seeker up and down for injuries, “I need to know what happened. Are there intruders?”

“No!” he said, almost yelling his answer, “Nothing happened! Nope, no intruders. I’m sorry for worrying you but there is absolutely nothing wrong. You mustn’t worry, my Lord.”

Megatron’s optics softened, clearly not satisfied with that answer. Even if there weren’t any intruders, something was clearly wrong here. “I won’t push you for an answer, but please consider telling me. I only wish to help you, Starscream.”

Starscream averted his gaze, unable to meet his leader’s optics. “I- I thought I was back in Vos.”

“Vos? The city?”

“Yes. I used to live there before the war. I guess I… garnered a bit of a reputation because Prime showed up at my home right before the war was officially declared. He tried to recruit me to help their cause with my research. I refused obviously and as a result…” he trailed off. 

Megatron could piece together the rest. “He ordered that Vos be destroyed because of your refusal, didn’t he?”

Starscream nodded tearfully. “All those people who died… it’s all my fault! If only I had complied! I could have found some way to escape eventually but-”

“Listen to me, Starscream,” Megatron said in a gentle but firm tone, “What happened in Vos was no one’s fault but Optimus’s and the Autobots who carried out his order. He just wanted you to believe it was your fault so you would join him.”

“But if I-”

“No buts. Optimus is mad, Starscream, there is no rhyme or reason to his actions. You’ll only serve to tear yourself apart by trying to understand him,” he said, placing a tentative hand on the seeker’s shoulder.

He couldn’t believe that no matter how much he wanted to. At least not yet. Maybe someday he could learn to heal and stop blaming himself… but today was not that day. Regardless, he was grateful for his Lord’s help. “Okay.”

A slight smile formed on his face. “I think we should go to the medbay. Knock Out can perform a mental evaluation as well as a physical one to make sure this wasn’t triggered by some underlying health issue.”

“We?”

“Yes, we. You don’t have to do this alone, Starscream. The war has caused many bots to go through dire straits. The mental stress we’ve been forced to undertake is enough to make anyone want to snap. We’ll get through this together.” Megatron stood up then and outstretched his hand.

Starscream took it and climbed up from the floor with Megatron’s help. “Thank you, my Lord.”

Together, they walked down to the medbay which wasn’t far. Knock Out was restocking supplies as they entered.

“Oh hey, Big M and Starscream. Did ya need something? I’m just cleaning up here,” he said, peeking out from behind a cabinet. 

“Er…” How was he supposed to explain? It was too embarrassing to just come out and say it directly. “A physical and psychological exam.”

“Oh?” Knock Out asked, walking towards the pair finally, “Your scheduled check-up isn’t for another few cycles. Is something wrong?”

“I… had a sort-of unusual mental experience a few minutes ago. Megatron told me I should go get checked out so… here I am.”

The medic raised an eyebrow. “An unusual mental experience? Uh, alright, you can have a seat on the berth over there.”

Starscream did as instructed and Megatron sat in the chair next to him, giving him a reassuring smile. Knock Out put on a medical mask and grabbed a file before rolling over on his wheely chair. 

“So, what happened exactly?” Knock Out asked, skimming through the file that held all of Starscream’s previous medical records.

He cleared his throat awkwardly. “Uh… Well, I had a flashback of sorts but it didn’t feel like one. I genuinely thought I was reliving it at the time.”

“Hmm,” Knock Out drawled, spinning around in his chair, “Alright. Well I doubt it’s an issue with your processor or CPU but I’ll need to take a few energon and mesh samples to test to be certain.”

“Is that… it?” Starscream asked, unsure of whether he was glad or disappointed. 

“No, but I don’t have the tools on hand for a mental health evaluation at the moment but I will definitely have them ready in the morning. Though, my treatment options are severely limited I’m afraid. The field of Cybertronian psychology is rudimentary at best and progress has all but stopped with the war going on,” Knock Out said.

Starscream sighed. So was there nothing that could be done? Would he have to live with debilitating flashbacks for the foreseeable future? “I understand.”

“I’ll still try and help in whatever way I can though so don’t look so down, Screamer. You’ll just have to see a lot more than usual while we try out various treatments. Hope ya don’t mind,” he said with a smirk.

\---

After Knock Out took a few samples and ran some cognitive functioning tests, the pair left the medbay. They walked in silence until they reached Starscream’s habsuite again.

“Will you be alright on your own?” Megatron asked.

“Yes, thank you, my Lord,” he replied, bowing slightly, “I… really appreciated it. Someday, I’ll be able to repay you for your kindness.” With that, he turned and was about to enter his quarters when a hand on his shoulder stopped him.

“You’ve never mentioned Vos before now,” Megatron said, “You don’t have to keep things like these to yourself. Everyone has lost something or someone important to them in the war so don’t think that you’re alone in this or that no one will understand.”

“I know. Thank you, Lord Megatron. Good night.”

“Good night.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
